AESchier’s view of the world

I’ve decided that although I will continue watching the Trapped in the Closet episodes, I will no longer blog about them due to my disappointment in R.Kelly’s ‘artistic’ vision. If you have watched Chapter 17, you will understand.

Nothing else in celebrity-dom has been inspiring me lately, so I’m going to do something crazy and actually do my real work for once.

Peace out.

Right now I feel just as I did when I watched the new Transformers movie. Defeated.

I just watched Episode 13 of R.Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet. I begin by recapping my original opinion on Mr. Kelly’s ‘groundbreaking’ concept. It was camp. It was crap. But it brought me pure joy. The joy was not derived from the actual ‘art’ depicted on the screen and through the lack of musicality in the soundtrack but rather through the joke that all the world had played on R. by providing him with the funds, the confidence and the actual audience who had convinced him that this narcissistic ego-trip was actually something marketable and worthy of world-wide release. As we all laughed at this attempt to create a new ‘genre’, a neo-blaxpoitation multimedia experience, we savoured the idea that he was merely mad with power and had provided us with the newest viral joke to forward during our tedious work hours. Yes, this laughter echoed our cruel playground antics of our youth where the child with the ‘Kick Me’ sign on his back is kicked and ridiculed without ever knowing why, but alas, bullying never does die with age, it mere transcends itself into rationalized behaviour based upon race, religion and the such.

But at some point, that poor child on the playground finally pulls that sign off of his back and the joke is over.

In Episode 13, the joke is over.

No more are the echoes of words like spatula or the subtle humour of counting and curse words. Instead we are forced to deal with trite dialogue attempting to set up suspense for the next nine episodes, adding an Eddie Murphy rip-off of playing multiple characters, such as our introduction to Rosy-the-Nosy Neighbour’s impotent, crotchety, poorly-costumed husband, and throwing in an anti-drug message for good measure (and perhaps to be used toward the community service time that Mr. Kelly will no doubt be serving in the near future).  

As the IFC commentary with R.Kelly suggests, he knows. He knows that the world did not ‘get’ his initial vision of artistic grandeur and so he turns the entire concept on its head by continuing the ridiculous and turning it up several notches. Unfortunately by doing this, it has become a lame attempt at comedy by someone who is not a comedian. R.Kelly, we all got the joke a while ago. We’re sorry you didn’t get it then, but we have already stopped laughing.

But…you don’t have to take my word for it.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1126121795/bclid1127690699/bctid1138039120

I’ll see you next time.

SOOOOO…it’s been a long, been a long, been a long, been a long while….

I would like to begin by apologizing to my long lost friend, Jennifer, who had posted comments a while back, but because I hadn’t logged in, I hadn’t the opportunity to approve them…I’m sorry. I suck. You rock.

Well, I guess I should sum up life since November 2006. I quit my job in London, moved back to Pittsburgh and got engaged to the wonderful Joel Lindsey. I’m currently job and flat hunting, which is not fun. But have come to realise that the reason that I quit writing my blog is because I really don’t feel like talking about myself. I’m here to judge the rest of the world rather than put myself under the microscope, so ’nuff about me. Let’s move on to more important things…

I love prescription drugs. Not for taking, mind you, but for the naff commercials and the proliferation of possible ‘diseases’ they can cure. If you can take a step back, they are a really entertaining industry. But my favourite aspect of these new necessities of life are the side effects. There will always be the normal ‘dry mouth, sleepiness, blood clots, runny nose, death’ ones…but I put forth my nomination for the BEST side effect EVER.

Do you have trouble falling asleep because of strange sensations in your legs? Do you dread long business meetings, going to the movies, or traveling on an airplane because you know your restless legs won’t let you sit still?

Prescription Requip is not for everyone. Requip Tablets may cause you to fall asleep or feel very sleepy during normal activities such as driving; or to faint or feel dizzy, nauseated, or sweaty when you stand up. Tell your doctor if you experience these problems or if you drink alcohol or are taking other medicines that make you drowsy. Also tell your doctor if you experience new or increased gambling, sexual, or other intense urges while taking Requip. Side effects include nausea, drowsiness, vomiting, and dizziness. Most patients were not bothered enough to stop taking Requip.

Who knew that if you had Restless Leg Syndrome to cure it you would have to develop a gambling addiction?

We now interupt this blog for a shameless plug.

Do you like good music? Do you hate most mainstream music? Do you find the British accent to be sexy? Do dimples make your heart melt?

If this sounds familiar, you may have TheReturnOfTheMelody.Com Syndrome (TROTMCS), a common psychological condition characterized by an uncontrollable urge to move the legs, bum, and eyebrows while singing songs like ‘James the Cat’ and ‘Could You Love Me’ at Joel Lindsey concerts. In its mild, moderate, and severe forms, TROTMCS affects approximately 1 in 7 adults living in the United States. Or Beaver. Whichever is bigger.

If you believe that you have TheReturnOfTheMelody.Com Syndrome, then unless you listen to the music of Joel Lindsey 3 times a day for the next several years. This is the only cure. I swear.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog.

I have always held the Independent Film Channel in the highest regard. In college, it introduced me to classics like Polyester and Americathon, but they have now superceded my wildest expectations. Beginning 13 August, they will be showing everyday a new episode of the arguably (VERY arguably) musical masterpiece of the 21st Century - R.Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet. For those of you who haven’t seen this genius/madman’s creation of the new genre ‘hip-opera’, R.Kelly utilizes a cornicopia of stereotypes, curse words and extreme drama that makes ‘Passions’ look plausible, setting its ‘plot’ (for lack of a better word) to a repetitous strain of a melody with no point. Whatever you may think of it, though, like an accident you can’t help but get sucked in.

Here’s just a taste of what episodes 1-12 offered and a sneak peek at what is to come:
SPOILER ALERT - Do not watch if you wish to experience the full version of Episodes 1-12.

So here’s my plug for IFC.com - on 13 August, show them that you share and support their decision to back this endeavour to provide the world an insight into the mind of everyone’s favourite paedophile. Watch Episode One and begin the musical pilgrimage that millions have endured.

Next time…a review of Episode 13.

Ax

PS…After your done, check out the South Park version - not only does it feature R.Kelly, but explains exactly what Scientologists really believe.

WATCH THIS SPACE! A little bird told me that you guys like me…you really like and miss my blog.

So with news such as the Britney Break-up, the impending TomKat ‘marriage‘ and Santorum now having as much power as, well, santorum. Though my favorite has to be that silly little girl, Sienna Miller and her rage against the ‘Burgh (and more importantly how it fought back)

So in honor of my hometown (which I will be visiting for Thanksgiving with my lovely English boyfriend who is fearing retribution towards him due to the whole Sienna incident…please be nice…) I am buying up all of the Sienna bashing t-shirts for all of my British friends this Chriskwanakah.

More. Soon. PROMISE.
x

AH!!!!

Okay. So it is Friday, and the weekend will begin probably as soon as I finish this blog. That is nice.

I’ve been doing a lot of research online lately for the workshops that I am writing for work. I was looking for rehearsal techniques when I came across the following entry in Wikipedia.

REHEARSAL LETTER

Yes, there is a considerable entry explaining the finer points of using rehearsal letters in musical scores. I feel like it had to have been someone from Duquesne who would write an entry like that.

As for me, the sun is shining in London, so life is pretty good. Joel finally met my Grandma via webcam last night. Yep my grandma and my boyfriend ‘chatting’ on webcam. My family is destined for Jerry Springer.

Weekend, here I come!!!

xx

I spent the day in the sun at a park. Yes, London has finally become sunny.

All I can say at this point in the day is that Pimms and sun is an excellent combination.

And I have internet in the flat. Yes, we’ve entered the 21st century.

Ax

Did you know that if you put ‘extreme pussy pain’ into Yahoo!’s search engine, you find this site.

I really don’t know what to think about that.

Yes…I’m back in London and badder than ever.

WOO HOO!

Updates soon!
(and apologies to those in the States that I didn’t get to see/speak to…excuses to follow soon…)

So here I am…still waiting on my visa. I have bitten my nails down to nubs and either cried or yelled at everyone around me.

Sorry guys.

Anyway…not to dwell on that, I would like to point out some of the positive things going on, such as my increased computer-geek ability. Now I will not act like I have even a fraction of a true computer nerd’s talent, for that is somthing that I can only dream of…but instead, I will say that I have finally achieved the ability to do html as well as any 7 year-old could back in the year 2003.

If you want to check out my talents, then click HERE

If you don’t want to check out my talents then click HERE

In other news, a new study shows that even though Americans spend the most on healthcare, Britons are actually much healthier. And if you saw how much beer that they can put back, it would REALLY amaze you.

Finally, I leave you with some more of my experiments in MS Paint land.

Yes, they will service your beaver with a smile.
A xxx

Writer’s block.
Boredom.

BEAVER.

Okay, it’s not so much boredom as cabin fever. I’m stuck at my (mom’s) desk, doing work and hoping, oh, hoping that all goes well with this immigration stuff.

STRESS.

And I’m thousands and thousands of miles away from Joel. We don’t like this separation.

Fortunately, I HAVE been entertained by the fact that TomKat named their baby Suri, which means “Scram” to the Israelis. Ha ha.

Speaking of which, I’m trying to learn Hebrew. Wow, and I thought Romanaccio was tough.

Anyway, this entry seems more like a written form of the verbal shits, so I’ll just leave you with the following photo of something that Jeff and I found at Marshalls in Robinson this weekend.

Sempre, Amy x